Adelaide: The entire nation of India is ecstatic, confused, delirious and upset all at the same time, as master blaster, little genius, Bradman incarnate (etc etc) Sachin Tendulkar was found to have a 100th century on his Cricinfo profile.
"I have absolutely no idea what happened... I just woke up this morning to check my Cricinfo profile to see how many runs I had... And was shocked to see that I had 100 international centuries. I was shocked.", revealed the little master to CoD's roving cricket journalist.
This comes on the heel of the news of one Bengali professor finding 490 billion rupees in his SBI bank account, and no one knows where the money came from.
"I was initially confused... But then I realised that Cricinfo is the authority on Cricket and couldn't have possibly made a mistake, so I guess I have 100 international centuries now.", said the little master, looking up to the skies for a brief moment before adjusting his abdomen pad and asking for the sightscreen to be moved.
Also, the master blaster seems to have broken Brian Lara's world records of 400* in a Test match and 501* in a First Class match, as his new highest score was put up as 502*.
"To be honest, I don't remember scoring that. I once remember I was playing EA Cricket 2010 on Virat's XBox with him and I had made Dinesh Mongia score 433* against the MCC XI, but I quite honestly don't remember this...", said the little genius.
"Anyway, I'm relieved... It feels great to have scored that 100th century (whether I did it or not)", said the little wizard before going on and scoring a quickfire double century in a game against a local XI. "I know can play with freedom". Australia at Adelaide had better be scared. Very scared.
The news has been greeted with contrasting views by India's cricket-crazy population and the media.
The average fan is ecstatic, finally getting the bugbear of waiting for SRT to score his 100th. "FINALLY! Now I can stop doing poojas every morning", screamed out one cricket fan from Varanasi. Tweeted another one from Delhi, "I can finally stop reorganizing furniture in my room before every Sachin innings."
The media, however, does not share the happiness. Every publication in the country was gearing up for the huge event with a Sachin Special issue (Every publication apart from The Hindu, that is, who would had templatized 'keen contest on the cards' for the Adelaide test). "Stark raving crazy this is. Not only do we seem like fools for having missed this alleged 100th 100, but what do I do with the 5 page Sachin Ton-dulkar special that I've been keeping for the last one year?!", bellowed an editor from the Times of India.
How the 100th 100 came about itself is a mystery. Some cynics (mostly Australian) assume that a hacker got in, but ESPNCricinfo's head of security assured us that no-one can break into the servers. The overall assumption is that Sachin just played an innings which Cricinfo forgot to update or some centuries in unofficial innings (such as the Diana Memorial Match at Lord's) suddenly was conferred official status.
"In any case, he can now stop worrying about the 100th 100 and do what he does best - scoring centuries", said Rameez Raja, underlying his ability to sound absurd and logical at the same time.